This is the cactus flower that bloomed when I was running a social enterprise to empower BIPOC single mothers in California. The morning after I told God that I gave up on justice, there was a GIANT WHITE BLOOM basking in the sunlight. Wow! Where did it come from!? Isn’t the cactus flower supposed to last only for a night? Surely this is a sign of hope that new life is possible.

Suffering isn’t the end of our stories.

Years later when I started learning Nihonda, I wanted this flower to be my first painting… even though white pigment is the hardest to deal with! (Oyster shell pigment is time-consuming to make, AND tricky to use because it looks translucent while it’s wet but becomes cloudy as it dries.) I told the teacher and classmates that I plan to paint all the other parts first and then worry about the white petals at the end. They looked at me puzzled, “How would you know it’ll balance as a whole picture if you don’t see how one color plays with the other in the process? You can’t decide on the intensity of the green or the shading of the stem until you place the flower, which is your focal point, isn’t it?” Ooohh. What if we approached life like that… building little by little, alternating between the easy and the hard, making sure every part exists in harmony with the rest, without avoiding the root issue? There will be new beauty beyond expectation or imagination.

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‭“Surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off [never fade away, not be disappointed].”
— Proverbs‬ ‭23:18‬ ‭ 
「あなたには確かに将来がある。あなたの望みは断たれる事はない。」箴言23章18節

“Jesus entered the disordered mess of struggling humanity in order to set it right once and for all… what the law code asked for but we couldn’t deliver is accomplished as we, instead of redoubling our own efforts, simply embrace what the Spirit is doing in us.”
— Romans 8:3-4